Dragon Strange: Part 2

Posted: March 1, 2014 in Dragon Strange
Tags: , ,

da2style

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Part 2

Warden: Ok I bought and installed the DLC. Let’s check the Chanters board!

Quest: Kill pigeons in Lothering, That Road That Looks The Same As The Other Roads, Lothering (night) and Another Road That Looks The Same As The Other Roads.

Warden: Odd, wasn’t it supposed to give an extra companion?
Alistair: Not until later in the game.

Several waves of pigeons attack. Villagers and refugees completely ignore the battle.

Warden: I’m thirsty, let’s go to the Lother Inn for drinks and wenches.
Morrigan rivalry +10
Generic Looking Bad Guy: We will attack you now!

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Leliana: Wait, stop that! This is Lother Inn, there’s no Fight Inn allowed inn here!
Morrigan rivalry +10
Warden: Ok stop that!
Morrigan rivalry +10
Warden: Isn’t that maxed out yet? Let’s hurry this up and get it maxed so it stops spamming.

Warden slaps Morrigan.
Morrigan friendship +25

Warden: Now I’m scared
Bad Guy: Too long without combat!

He attacks and several more waves appear out of thin air. Amusingly one soldier appears to be climbing out of the bartenders ear. The leader, who died in the first wave, gets to his feet

Bad Guy: We surrender!
Leliana: Let them go
Warden: No!
Leliana rivalry +10
Leliana: Let them go
Warden: Ok
Leliana friendship +5

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Leliana: You are the Warden. I will come with you
Warden: No you won’t
Leliana rivalry +10
Leliana appears as a selectable companion despite being turned down

Warden, Alistair, Morrigan and Dog find a Qunari in a cage.
Alistair: That doesn’t look like a canary.
Sten rivalry +10
Warden: Who are you?
Sten: I am the Sten.
Warden: Why are you in a cage?

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Sten: No.
Warden: …what? That doesn’t even make sense.
Morrigan: There’s a note on the cage but you can’t read it even though your journal has a section for notes, so I’ll read it for you.
Warden: That’s uncharacteristically helpful of you
Morrigan: Well I doubt Alistair can read
Alistair: Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m almost half a page through Learning To Read With Graham Grey Hat The Grey Warden!
Morrigan: The note says that he was locked up for killing a lot of people.
Sten: Yes.
Warden: Well let’s leave him here then, don’t want a murderer with us. Wait, why has a quest just popped up in my journal to get him released when I just said I didn’t want to?
Alistair: Don’t worry about that, just push a button.
Warden: That was awesome.
Morrigan rivalry +10

The Warden and company enter the Chantry
Warden: We want you to let the Qunari go so he can help us. Wait, didn’t that dialogue option say “We would like your help” I just wanted some supplies not my own pet murderer!

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Grand Cleric: No, we will not let him go.
Warden: Oh good. We’ll be off then.
Grand Cleric: Oh alright, here is the key.
Warden: muttermuttermutter
Alistair: Push the button again
Warden: Shut up
Alistair rivalry +10

Warden & Friends & Rivals return to Stens cage.
Warden: You are free to go pleasedon’tkillmekillalistairinstead
Alistair rivalry +10
Morrigan friendship +50
Sten: I will follow you and help you and say “no” a lot
Alistair: Can you cook?

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Sten: No
Alistair: Can you sing?

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Sten: No
Alistair: Can you talk?
Sten: No… I mean yes
Alistair: Ha! Got you!
Morrigan: Even when you finally manage to outsmart someone you only prove your own stupidity
Alistair: How so?
Morrigan: Well tell me this Alice, just how smart is it to upset an angry giant with a record of killing people?

Warden & followers attempt to leave Lothering.
Warden: Wait, don’t we still have a quest here?
Alistair: Yes but it’s at night so we have to leave, switch to night and then come back.
Warden: Ok then. That makes as little sense as everything else.

Waves of generic Darkspawn attack.

Bodhan: Oh thank you for saving me and my son, we will live in your mansion and…
Warden: I think you’re confusing me with somebody else

Bodhan: You don’t have a mansion? Drat, that’s always a good way to get a free place to sleep. Don’t ask me why it works but it does. Where are you staying then?
Alistair: We’ll be setting up a camp.
Bodhan: Ah well, better than nothing I suppose. Mind if me and my boy tag along?
Warden: I doubt you’ll want to travel with Grey Wardens!
Bodhan: That does sound dangerous so I shall say that I won’t but we’ll meet you there anyway.
Alistair: So even Origins did have a Thou Shalt Not!
Morrigan rivalry +10 just because she hasn’t for a while

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Comments
  1. rayvio says:

    And now our heroes venture out into the wide open world… or at least it would be if it wasn’t in DA2s railroading style. Admittedly the railroading wasn’t always quite as bad as the parody makes it out to be, you do sometimes have the choice of what order to do certain sections in, but exaggeration is always fun and often effective

    Like

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