Dragon Strange: Part 10

Posted: March 31, 2014 in Dragon Strange
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da2style

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Part 10

Alistair: So I’ve been thinking
Doggigan: If I could write with paws I’d mark it on my calendar
Alistair pretends to throw a ball
Alistair: Fetch!
Doggigan runs after the imaginary ball
Alistair: Why is it called the Circle? The tower’s more of a cylinder.
Wynne: It’s because one of our philosophies is that we do not cut corners, by making deals with demons for example
Warden: But a circle has no corners, implying that somebody did cut them off
Wynne: Drat. I’ve been using that excuse for years, now I need to think up a new one.
Alistair: Maybe it’s because they round up all the mages here?
Warden: Oh that was pretty bad
Alistair: Well if it’s that bad maybe you should tri an angle instead? Get it, like a triangle?

jokes

Doggigan: At first I was annoyed by you manipulating the instincts of this form to get rid of me, but now I’m actually glad I missed those jokes.
Wynne: It’s odd, we should have run into Owain, the tranquil by now.
Warden: Wasn’t he a blacksmith in Redcliffe?
Wynne: No, no. Owain not Owen.
Alistair: The art department called him away. They decided that shaving tranquils heads wasn’t enough, they should also have a big sun branded on their heads. So he’s off having that burnt onto his skull
Wynne: Ah. I’m surprised really. I never pictured him as being hotheaded.
Alistair: Hey I gotta write that one down!
Doggigan: I could turn back into a human if you want to send one of them away
Warden: Tempting
Doggigan: I can even shapeshift my hair you know, if you really like redheads
Alistair: Ooh are they hotheaded too? You know, because their hair is red?
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: He said it, not me!
Sloth: Oh hurry up will you! I’m a sloth demon and even I’m getting tired of waiting for you to get to the next bit
Alistair: You’re Eamon? Mummy you look… different
Sloth: Demon not Eamon!
Warden: Hang on, I just noticed something. I don’t trust Arl Eamon
Alistair: What? Because his name sounds like demon? That’s insane!
Warden: EA-mon… mon could be short for money. EA Money. He’s going to try to sell us some DLC, I just know it
Alistair: But you should buy the DLC!
Warden: And I’m going to start calling you EAlistair if you keep that up!
Wynne: Might I suggest not pushing that joke too much farther. You don’t want to tempt fate and have this whole thread deleted
Warden: It’s ok, we’ve got our own website now
Wynnedows: Well if we’re going to advertise, I hope you upgraded to Wynnedows 8
Warden: I’d rather be forced to write positive reviews for Pinnacle Station and Character Costume DLCs
LelEAna: Speaking of DLC, is this a good time to advertise Leliana’s Song?
Warden: Ok stop it now.
Alistair: I think the demon fell asleep. Does this mean we can Skip The Fade?
Warden: Sorry, I forgot to install that mod
Sloth: You are feeling very sleepy…
Alistair: Rock a bye warden, on the tower top…
Warden: At least when he’s asleep the bad jokes will stop

Duncan: Welcome to Weisshaupt. You defeated the Blight
Warden: I actually almost believe you, since this has gone on longer than DA2’s gametime lasted anyway

ending

Duncan: And this would be the perfect way to parody the timeskips
Warden: It would indeed, and the lack of a real ending. By the way, since you died so early we never got to mention your beard
Duncan: It’s probably for the best, all those jokes have been done to death
Warden: I suppose. Anyway why am I here?
Duncan: Because you won. The world is at peace, the Blight is over and you shagged the redhead
Warden: I’ve never even heard of this place and wouldn’t know how to pronounce or spell it. Why would you think this is what I’d want? Why aren’t my family back from the dead? Why aren’t I surrounded by naked women? Not at the same time as family of course, that’d be embarrassing
Duncan: Well frankly we were a little confused about what you wanted, after your little encounter with the elf
Warden: He said it was a massage!
Duncan: So anyway, if we bring in some naked women will you stay?
Warden: Of course
Duncan: Pity. I had hoped we could tempt you to stay
Warden: I said I’d stay
Duncan: But no, you have to go off and save the world
Warden: It can wait
Duncan: Well if you won’t stay, you can die!
Warden: I said I’d… hey, stop hitting me!

hitting

Warden fights off Duncan and a few waves of demons and then a birdbath mysteriously appears
Warden: Can I have the naked ladies now?
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: That came from the birdbath. I guess I should follow it

Warden somehow appears on a floating island next to another birdbath and a mage
Mage: Another prisoner fell into the trap? You’ll never escape
Warden: Oh I will. I’m a big damn hero after all
Mage: How will you manage that?
Warden: First I’ll explore
Mage: I never thought of that!
Warden: Oh look, a tiny hole. And a mouse
Mouse: You can be a mouse too!
Warden turns into a mouse. the Warden mouse then moves the cursor over the hole and tries clicking on it
Mouse: Very funny
Warden turns into an actual mouse and runs through the hole
Mouse: Hey, you better not steal my cheese! Even though I actually prefer fruit, since I’m not a cartoon
Warden: But you are a computer game character. Besides, there’s a running cheese joke

Wardenmouse climbs out of a hole and turns back into a human.
Warden: Hello? Leliana? Alistair? Wynne? Witch Bitch?
Doggigan rivalry +10
Warden: Ah, looks like the rivalry came from that direction.

Warden finds Morrigan and Flemeth
Flemeth: I am your mother!
Morrigan: Look, I’m confused! Do you want me to call your BS like I do in Origins or pretend to believe you like a gullible idiot in DA2?
Warden: Alternatively you could just come with me
Morrigan: Do I have to turn into a dog again?
Warden: Not yet, party isn’t full
Morrigan: Ok then
Flemeth: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Warden stabs fake-flemeth
Morrigan: Oh that reminds me, new quest. Kill the real one
Warden: I haven’t even found the book yet
Morrigan: What? Haven’t you been looting the chests? You bloody slacker… hey come back
Morrigan vanishes
Warden: Ok now to find Leliana. or somebody else to shag
Leliana rivalry +10
Warden: Ah, that way

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Comments
  1. rayvio says:

    I really enjoyed the Fade the first couple of times I played that section. It doesn’t really add to the story though, or have any real choices or anything particularly interesting happen so it was one of the sections that became very tedious on later characters once the novelty had worn off.

    Like

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