Dragon Strange: Part 30

Posted: July 6, 2014 in Dragon Strange
Tags: , ,

da2style

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Part 30

Otto: Hello? Is someone there
Qwerty: Yes. Is something wrong?

blind

Otto: Oh hello. I’m blind
Qwerty: Well yes, you are a Templar so I assumed as much
Otto: Funnily enough that’s actually why they gave me the job. Never understood that. But anyway I sense something evil around here
Qwerty: Probably just Doggigan or Shale, I wouldn’t worry about it if I was you
Doggigan: Grrrr arrrgh
Otto: It’s around here some place, I’ve been sensing it for hours
Doggigan: Grrrrrrr
Qwerty: Stop that
Doggigan: I’m trying to scare that rabid dog off
Qwerty: The dead one?
Doggigan: Of course not, the other one!
Otto: That’s it! Those two evil things tell me the evil is in… the orphanage!
Qwerty: Well that makes about as much sense as the things most NPCs tell me
Otto: Will you come with me? I’m scared of the dark
Qwerty: You’re blind!
Otto: Then you see my problem
Qwerty: Oh fine

The group enter the orphanage and are immediately attacked by wave after wave of dogs
Alistair: Is Doggigan in heat or something?
Doggigan: You’re going to be attacked by another dog in a second

hug

Suddenly demons attack
Otto: What’s happening?
Qwerty: Just listen to the narrator
Finally a boss spawns and dies
Otto: Ah a boss you say? Guess we’re done then…
A werewolf taps Otto on the shoulder and asks
Gatekeeper: Are you the Keymaster?
Otto: Yes, why?

forkinhell

Suddenly all hell breaks loose
Qwerty: Isn’t this bordering on copyright infringement now?
Another demon spawns but is killed rather quickly
Alistair: Yeah! Who you gonna call?
Qwerty: My lawyer. I’ve a feeling I’ll need one
Leliana: Otto’s dead
Otto: No I’m not
Qwerty: He says he’s not
Leliana: Well he soon will be
Otto: I’m getting better
Leliana: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a minute
Otto: No I…

squish

Shale stomps on him
Leliana: See? Stone dead. Let’s loot him
Qwerty: What was that about?
Leliana: He kept bumping into me as an excuse to feel me up. Besides, I want his shoes
Shale: I just like to squish things
Alistair: Does anyone else remember when we qualified as “lawful good”?
Qwerty: “Chaotic neutral” is much more fun

The party head outside and run into the beggar
Beggar1 slaps Beggar2 with a trout
Beggar1: Was that good enough ser?
Qwerty: What the hell was that? I said be funny! Beg in silly ways!
Beggar2: Spare some change for an.. amputee?
Qwerty: See? Funny!
Qwerty chops both of the beggars arms off and throws him some coins. All the beggars run away screaming. One sneaks back, pockets the coins and runs off again
Tevinter: Look, this is an official Elf And Safety facility, there’s nothing suspicious at all going on here!
Shianni: Oh yeah? Well why haven’t we seen any of the patients again?
Tevinter: They’re in quarantine
Shianni: Why is there a sign above the door saying “Elves for sale?”
Tevinter: That’s… that’s Tevinter for “We Cure Elves”
Qwerty: What’s going on here?

shemlen

Shianni: You evil Shemlen bastard! I bet you’re like all the others you come here to laugh at the Elves? Oh wait, you’re the ones who rescued Soris! Yay!
Shianni hugs Qwerty, who is too confused to even cop a feel. Leliana does it for him
Shianni: Please, these evil mages have been taking our people away
Qwerty: What makes you think they’re evil?
Shianni: DA2 rules and they’re outside of a circle. Also the fact that they keep kidnapping us is a bit of a hint
Elf: She’s right! My children are napping! They’re putting our kids to sleep! Kidnappers!
Shianni: That’s not what that means you idiot!
Elf: Help! Help! Think of the children!
Tevinter: Shut up. Everyone form an orderly queue and you’ll all be seen eventually
Qwerty: They call me Q for short, but I’m no orderly
Tevinter: Well that’s a pity because if you were we could let you in
Qwerty: Hi, I’m Orderly Q!
Tevinter: In you go then
Shianni: Good luck!

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